The play is a satire on teenage romance, for goodness sakes. They knew each other for less than a week. It’s all based on infatuation and lust. Romeo was crying over, what was her name… Rosaline? And that very night he meets Juliet! Rebound, much? And Juliet’s this little lonely mess, with only her freaking nurse to cry to. (btw, the nurse and the friar? Fucking IDJITS.) And after they meet, they make plans to marry the next morning? In what freaking universe is that intelligent? And freaking Mercutio, the mouthy bastard, is killed by Tybalt, so Romeo gets all pissy and avenges him. And what does Juliet have to say about this? OMG you’re gonna be banished for killing my cousin? WOE IS ME, I’M GOING TO LOSE MY HUSBAND! LET’S HAVE SEX RIGHT NAO. So the little 14 year old gets her freak on, but instead of killing herself so she won’t have to marry Paris, the fuckin Friar gets her to take Snape’s draught of living death. I kinda wish she would have just killed herself at that point. Then Romeo’s like OH NOES MY LURVEE! And thinks she’s really fucking dead, because the friar is a dumbass, and goes and kills himself, along with Paris, for that matter. AND OF COURSE Juliet wakes up then and has mercy on us and stabs herself. THANK YOUUU.
Wankers, all of them.
THIS.
Hamlet all the wayyyyyy.THIS.
I get so sick of telling people this, seriously.